Dudes & Chics: An Oversimplified Guide to Girls

Of the hundreds of emails I receive daily, over 80% concern issues with women. Why is this? Could it be (as most men would argue) because women are the most complex, irrational, emotional, and downright fickle creatures on God's (previously perfect) green earth? Or is it because guys are dull, dense, stubborn, insensitive, and painfully logical? Perhaps a highly combustible combination of these two scenarios results in such extreme relational fireworks. This issue of Dudes Etc. will zone in on the topic of women and offer some simple rules for understanding and relating to them.

Rule 1: Women are More Complex than Men.

Simply stated, women are highly sophisticated creatures. As dudes, it is imperative we realize that the only hope for even partial comprehension is through intense thought and keen observation. Also, it must be noted that women are generally not logical - they are super-logical. This means that they reason on a level above logic. Most women comprehend logic - but they typically value other factors (emotions etc.) above logic in their reasoning thereby seeming illogical.

Rule 2: All Women are Different.

When interacting with women, it is also necessary to be cognizant of the fact that no woman is the same. An appropriate mindset is that of a golfer. No golfer treats every hole the same, but approaches each as a unique challenge. Likewise, dudes know that no two women are the same and each relationship must be approached individually.

A similar principle is that all women change on a daily basis. The girl you kissed goodnight at 11 PM on Saturday night may not be the same girl you greet at 9 AM Sunday morning. In fact, my experience indicates that she will probably be entirely different.

Rule 3: Girls are People not Prizes.

Guys often treat dating as a competition, with the best girls going to the victors. This is a giant mistake - one that a dude would avoid at all costs. Girls are human beings deserving respect and decency just like any man. I am in no way a feminist, but I do think that our society objectifies women by treating as an indication of social status. Unfortunately, I see men treating their wives no differently than their car, mansion, or favorite dress suit. As for you women: do not settle for this treatment - you are worth more than any possession a man could own.

Rule 4: Take a Hint!

Dudes know how to take no for an answer. I am 100% in support of guys who have the confidence to pursue a relationship, but if she is not reciprocating your advance - BACK OFF. Knowing when to raise the sails in pursuit and when to abandon ship is the difference between a dude and a creepy stalker. I also want to that I think the idea of determining "Is she into me?" before asking a girl out is over rated. Unless you have something at stake (i.e. her family has been friends with yours for years) I say just go for it. If she turns you down then oh well, it wasn't going anywhere anyway - move on. If she accepts, you're golden. Why wait for three months to try to figure out if she likes you too?

Rule 5: Kindness is Always Appropriate

Regardless of whether you are married, dating, pursuing, or single it is always acceptable to be amiable to women. Dudes open doors, let girls precede them in line, and offer to help them in any way. Another note for girls: when a dude is nice to you, do not automatically interpret it as affection.

Communication Axioms

Here are a few tried and true rules for communicating with women. Consider this a bonus feature included with today's post for no extra charge.

Axiom 1: Shut up. Letting her talk seems to be strangely therapeutic for her.

Axiom 2: Always avoid the topic of women and weight.

Axiom 3: For some reason, it is okay to imply a girl lacks common sense in jest.

Axiom 4: Listening is different than hearing - she wants you to feel what she is saying too.

Axiom 5: Look at her eyes, not her rest of her.

Dude out,

-C.R.