Dudes & Bros Part I: The "Hey" Stage.

Long before Bert met Ernie or Robin "side kicked-it" with Batman, dudes have been making friends with other dudes. The intricate formation of these relationships, though always unique and original, can be simplified into several fairly standard stages. This post will address the first of these stages.

The Hey Stage

The first of these levels of is commonly known as the "Hey" stage because of the frequency with which dudes use this greeting. The Hey stage is composed of two parts: 1) the meeting, and 2) the exchange of dudeisms.

The Meeting

Although dudes are exceptional human beings, they meet in similar ways to non-dudes. One of the most common ways for dudes to make one another's acquaintance is through a third party introduction. Another, less traditional way for dudes to meet is through doing dudelike activities. Two dudes may meet while pushing an old woman's car out of a snowbank, or on the ski lift, or while attending a little league baseball game. They see each other and the typical greeting is "Hey," "Hey man" or an upward head nod of acknowledgement. It is from here that the term "Hey Stage" has been derived. Obviously the dudes are mutually courteous and polite, but at this point, the conversation remains outside the realm of dudedom.

The Exchange of Dudeisms

It is certainly possible for the relationship to remain at a merely "hey dude" level with no progression into legitimate friendship. However, when relationships do progress, the aspect of dudeisms becomes critical. At some point after the initial meeting (possibly weeks or even months later) one of the males will test the other male's dudedom. This is performed through dudeisms, or comments and responses of a dudelike nature. This concept is analogous to the code languages used in . dude casually tossing out a dudism and waiting for an appropriate dudelike response. Take for example, two males standing in line at a deli:

Dude 1: "Look at that guy, he's just a master. He's like the Mr. Miyagi of sandwich making."

Dude 2: "Absolutely. But without the 'stache and goatee."

Dude 1: "Haha, yeah...but he could pull that off too, if he wanted"

In this scenario, Dude 1 used a dudeism (in this case, a reference to Karate Kid) to smoke out the other male and test his dudedom. Dude 2 reciprocated appropriately by acknowledging the reference and building upon the reference. Dude 1's response is merely the sprinkles on the sundae.

Note: The friendship may simply stay at the "Hey Stage." The fact remains however, that this stage takes place in the development of friendships between dudes.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Packing Like a Dude

As a frequent traveler, I have noticed a disturbing trend emerging in the way men pack for trips. Rather than packing only what is necessary, they have adopted the feminine technique of packing based on "is there even the slightest chance that this item will be needed?" Then, regardless of the answer, the item is packed. Dudes however, develop the ability to predict which items are truly necessary, and exclude all else in their luggage. In an effort to provide a contextual framework in which to to comprehend this post, I have included a short summary of historic male packing.

(Note: Any She-dude readers should take particular note of the principles outlined in this post).

Historic Highlights of Male Packing

Throughout history, men have been known known for their minimalist packing strategies. Even in prehistoric times, they were known to embark upon hunting excursions wearing nothing more than a spear and a rock. Males who wore their mammoth-skin loincloths were scorned (after all, why would you wear a formal outfit on a hunting trip?). As time passed however, societal standards for dress were established, and men were forced to carry extra clothing when traveling. The commitment to minimalist packing however, remained resolute. Nearly all of the great explorers were known for their ability to pack lightly. On one occasion, Christopher Columbus remarked that "The ability to carry the entirety of ones belongings in a satchel is a mark of exceeding wisdom...and also of poverty." Legend has it that Louis and Clark adhered to a simple motto while packing for their excursion: "If it can't be et, drunk, or shot - it ain't comin'." Sadly however, many modern males have lost this commitment to minimalist packing.

4 Rules for Packing Like a Dude

Rather than lament the feminine packing tendencies of the modern male, I have opted to simply provide four general guidelines to educate and encourage dudes who have difficulty in this area.

1. Two Bag Maximum

Ideally, the amount of clothing and other items can be condensed into one medium to large sized bag or suitcase. Obviously the amount of items taken on a given trip depends upon the length and variety of activities involved. The principle remains however, that any guy should not pack more clothing than can fit into two bags. My personal packing technique is to pack all clothing in one medium bag, and pack all other items (laptop, iPod, book, phone charger, etc.) into a backpack.

2. Two Pair of Maximum

Pants and shoes consume ungodly amounts of valuable space in a suitcase. Thus, minimizing the number of these items is key to effective minimalist packing. Depending on the trip, I try to include one pair of semi-formal pants (either dress pants or dockers), and one pair of casual pants (dark jeans or khakis). Likewise, I wear one pair of nicer shoes, and pack my running shoes. The key is to choose pants and shoes that can serve several functions. Dockers can be worn with either a shirt and tie, or a casual sweater and dark jeans can be worn with a hoody, t-shirt, or dress shirt. The main thing to keep in mind though, is to minimize the number of pants and shoes. Taking with one pair of pants and shoes (and wearing those for travel) is deserving of an official nomination for the Dudes Etc. "Trude of the Year" award.

3. Wear the big stuff

If you must bring a large coat, hoody, boots, or other large items it is always best to wear them. This technique can save an extraordinary amount of room in a suitcase.

4. Pack the little stuff last.

Pack the large things first - pants, sweaters, shoes. Then pack in the socks and undergarments around these larger items. This maximizes suitcase space and is the most effective way for packing luggage.

Following these guidelines and strategies should enable even the most inclusive packer to move closer to our male heritage of minimalist packing. Although it is no longer possible to pack as light as our forefathers, it is important to make the effort to pack only what is truly necessary.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Spare Time: How to Use Every Second Like a Total Dude

Guys are notorious for spending countless evening and weekend hours in front of the television watching sports or playing video games. While these are acceptable activities (even in dudedom), the ghastly quantity of time males waste pursuing them is entirely reprehensible. The intent of this post is not to lambaste men who find themselves caught in the magnetizing effect of TV and video games. Hopefully, these ideas will inspire and encourage men to use every precious second of their lives in the most effective and enjoyable manner. On my journey to ultimate dudedom, I have discovered three areas in which dudes can invest their time in order to receive an unbelievably positive return.

1. Build Relationships

First, dedicate their spare time to developing relationships with the important people in their lives. If men spent as much time listening to their wives as they do watching football, marriages and families all over the nation would be happier and healthier. If sons and brothers invested time in the relationships with their mothers and siblings, these relationships would be deep and strong. There are countless ways to build into the lives of others. Hand-written letters, phone calls, emails, and grabbing a cup of coffee are all excellent ways to use spare time. Other options for building relationships include planning a party or event, inviting someone over for dinner, or simply playing a game. In short, dudes see the inherent value in spending time with the people they love and building relationships.

2. Explore New Horizons

Secondly (and yes, this category was intentionally named in a broad and inclusive manner), dudes realize that one lifetime is not enough time to see, do, or learn everything so wasting time is out of the question. Exploring new horizons involves more than visiting new places, it is a mindset of trying new things. Google a local state park and take a day trip, attempt a hike to a friends house, visit local historic landmarks, learn to kayak, ski, or fix a car. If you are already outdoorsy, challenge yourself to read a good book or learn how to make a casserole. The point is that spare time is the perfect time to branch out.

3. Serve

Thirdly, dudes have a servant hearted attitude that drives them to spend their time serving others. Out of all human beings, young men are the best suited for service: physically fit, plenty of time, energetic, and young. Combine these qualities with a dudelike compassion and willing spirit and the results can be astounding. There are plenty of service opportunities if guys would simply look around. Food pantries and homeless shelters always need assistance. Thousands of elderly people in nursing homes long for friendship and attention. Young children can be organized into teams and played with. It is important to note that opportunities for service are often impromptu. Helping an old woman change a flat tire, giving a homeless man a bag of groceries, or even simply holding a door for a disabled man are ways to use time wisely. In conclusion, I am saddened by how young men (potential dudes) fritter away their time. I know that if ignited and harnessed, these dudes have the power to impact communities and cities for good.

Gentlemen, let's get off our butts and get busy.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudetributes: A Sense of Confidence

Men do not often suffer from low self esteem. In fact, the concept of a "male ego" has been decried to the extent that assaulting it farther would seem banal and redundant. I do not intend to pummel a deceased stallion (if you permit the adaption of a nonsensical phrase - after all, why would anyone beat a living horse?), but I have chosen to elucidate upon a proper dudelike mentality regarding self esteem.

I would prefer to simply expound upon the positive aspects of a dudely sense of confidence, but I need to establish several initial qualifications.

I acknowledge that many men DO indeed have an issue with pride. (I could veraciously assail this glaring imperfection, but I have chosen to inspire and encourage because I believe this approach to be exponentially more effective).

Confidence is not equivalent to arrogance or pride. Arrogance is a distortion (more specifically an improper swelling) of confidence. In short, arrogance is confidence with a hernia.

It is possible to "take pride" in something without being arrogant, just like it is possible to take a break without being lazy - the key is moderation.

A Dudelike Sense of Confidence

With these thoughts in mind, I can proceed to an explanation of the dudetribute of confidence. There are two components of a proper, balanced sense of confidence: confidence in the dude you are, and confidence in the dude you are not.

Confidence in the Dude You Are

First, dudes know (and like) who they are. This means they have an accurate perception of themselves, and they are not afraid to be that person. For example, dudes are confident enough to use their talents and natural abilities. How tragic it would have been if Mozart was too ashamed to share his gift of music? Or if Thomas Edison had lost confidence after his first few attempts at the light bulb? Dudes are not crippled by the possibility of failure or the fear of public shame, but have the self assurance to overcome in pursuit of their goals. After all, a person's worth has no correlation to public opinion.

Confidence in the Dude You Aren't

Concisely stated, dudes have personal standards about who they are about which they are unwilling to compromise. They do not allow others to influence their convictions with faulty arguments about "fitting in" and "everyone is doing it." (Note: this idea extends beyond just doing drugs and having sex). Guys who merely "follow the gang" demonstrate self assurance with properties similar to Silly Putty. At some point, guys like this need to dude up and embrace their individual masculinity. A second aspect of being confident in the dude you aren't involves not being too arrogant to try new things. Dudes are not intimidated by the embarrassment and initial awkwardness of unfamiliar things. They are confident enough to know that their worth is independent of their ability to perform an activity or task.

Practical Confidence Applications (in one sentence or less):

Confidence is the ability to shut your facial abyss while being criticized.

Confidence is the ability to laugh when you get shanked.

Confidence is the ability to shake your opponents hand after a tough loss.

Confidence is the ability to give credit when/where it is due.

Confidence is the ability to ask for assistance (or directions).

Confidence is the ability to look anyone in the eye when shaking hands.

Confidence is the ability to let someone else lead, (but be willing to take the reigns if they screw up).

Dude out,

-C.R.