Dudes & Goals

Lately, I have been pondering the importance of goals. Without objectives, it is difficult to accomplish anything significant. I once wrote a mostly terrible poem. The idea behind it was that "accomplishing the unthinkable begins with striving for the unattainable." In other words, failure to pursue lofty objectives results in failure to achieve them. Thus, for the year of 2012, I have decided to challenge myself every week to accomplish something interesting, unique, or difficult. Each week, I will post the results of my endeavor, and issue the challenge for the next week. The objectives will range from physically demanding (run a marathon) to skill oriented (refinish a piece of old furniture) to just downright uncomfortable (sing in public). I may post videos of some of these pursuits (depending on the degree of embarrassment).

This is a bit of a change for Dudes Etc., and will add a personal element to its previous...theoretical(?) nature. My hope is that this process will not only keep me accountable for trying new things and obtaining my goals, but will perhaps push other dudes to challenge themselves as well.

So, here goes:

Challenge #1: Read a classic book.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Dialogue: Shutting Up.

One of the most common grievances women cite with their male counterparts is an abysmal deficiency in communication skills. While some males have gained proficiency in art of dialogue, the contention that many males are surpassed in conversation ability by primate species not blessed with the gift of established language contains more than a mere shred of validity. Hence, in an effort to challenge the reputation of of the male gender as conversationally-retarded dunces, the crew at Dudes Etc. offers the following series about the elements of dialogue. The initial installments will focus specifically on the elements of a conversation, which will be followed by posts regarding specific challenges and guidelines for overcoming unusual and strange scenarios.

Dialogue Element #1: Silence

The first rule of effective dialogue is one of the most challenging practices for men. When mastered however, it establishes a platform of mutual respect and can even begin the persuasive process. Oddly enough, though obscenely underutilized, this practice is unbelievable simple: SHUT UP. There is almost nothing more critical to effective dialogue than the ability to restrain the tongue. Particularly in dialogue involving debate or argumentation, men focus on convincing others of their position through persuasive language thereby banishing their conversation to the competitive realm. Simply utilizing the art of silence can be one of the most persuasive and convincing tactics in such scenarios. As Dean Rusk once stated, "The best way to persuade others is with your ears."

To the talkative individual, silence can be unbearable - a mental torture equivalent to the physical act of individually plucking multiple nose hairs. While not speaking might initially be considered a passive endeavor, silence by no means precludes mental activity. Rather, (as will be discussed in future installments) silence affords an individual the opportunity for increased cognitive action.

Practical Exercise:

Each week, I will offer an activity dudes can undertake in order to help develop their conversational ability. Developing a sense of silence can be difficult, especially for peculiarly talkative dudes. To teach oneself to shut up, it can be helpful to place oneself in situations that tempt one to speak. Thus, try spending time with a very opinionated and outspoken individual - ideally someone with different political or religious beliefs who would normally be somewhat irritating. While they rant, rave, and pontificate, do your best to smile as you seal your cake portal and remain mute. Repeat this exercise as often as necessary to develop the ability to not speak.

Dude out,

-C.R.