Dudetributes: A Sense of Humor

Although the majority of guys have a desire to "be funny" it is simply not realistic to believe that they can all pull it off. Interestingly enough however, being funny is not a characteristic of being a dude. Dudes do not necessarily know how to tell a funny story, how to sarcastically mock something ridiculous, or even tell a decent joke - that would automatically disqualify a huge sector of the population from dudedom. One of the greatest dudetributes however, is a sense of humor.

Being Funny vs. Having a Sense of Humor

Being funny is completely different than having a sense of humor. The former implies the singlehanded generation of hilarity, or at least the innate ability to make surrounding company laugh. If this were a requirement of dudedom, then unfortunately, there would be very few dudes because, quite simply, most guys are not comedians.

Having a sense of humor, while related to being funny, is more involved. Unlike being funny which is a natural gift or talent, a sense of humor is a lifestyle that can be adopted. It is an approach to life that dudes can nurture, develop, and build into their lives. Specifically, there are three main components of a good dude sense of humor.

A Dudelike Sense of Humor

First and foremost on the list of "factors contributing to a sense of humor" is the ability to laugh at oneself. Dudes should practice the art of laughing when they make a mistake or look foolish. Granted, nobody wants to be perceived as an idiot all the time, but at the same time, EVERYONE makes a fool of themselves at some point (some people more than others). It is at this point when dudes laughingly admit their flaws and even jokingly put themselves down. This is important not only because it decreases the anxiety experienced by the dude himself, but also places everyone else at ease as well. Thus, the ability to laugh at oneself is a basic, yet critical component of this dudetribute.

Secondly, dudes know how to laugh at others. Taken literally, this does not seem challenging. Afterall, laughing AT other people is one of the easiest and most natural human functions. But really knowing HOW to do this is quite a bit more complex. Dudes know that although they may feel like cracking a joke at someone's misfortune, it is not always proper. Thus they know when it is and is not appropriate to laugh at someone else. A second aspect of laughing at others is being humble enough to admit someone else is funny. Guys often experience jealousy when another guy is funnier than them. This is anti-dudelike. Dudes recognize, and even appreciate others that have excellent comedic timing, or use a hilarious analogy. They are not afraid to laugh at other people.

Thirdly, dudes develop the ability to laugh at stressful and intense situations. All men face high pressure situations that are emotionally and mentally taxing. Men who take life too seriously to find humor in difficult areas simply contribute to the difficulty of the situation. Dudes seek to find the irony and humor in such situations, recognizing that this is the most effective approach. For example, recently while I was working at a local restaurant, one employee called off work leaving the restaurant short staffed, eventually resulting in utter chaos. The atmosphere was similar to a pot of potatoes boiling on a stove. The pot was about to boil over, but for some reason, it seemed as though the burner just kept getting hotter and hotter. The result was that human interaction went from a jovial teamwork to a level that was bordering on homicidal. As a participant in the "pot" I could not help but laugh. I found it extremely ironic that the terse (which is a mild description) way in which these stressed people interacted simply served to escalate the situation and exacerbate the problem. In situations like these, it is important to find rays of humor to lighten and brighten the mood.

Some dudes are more adept in certain areas of their sense of humor. But all dudes should seek to develop this approach to life and learn to laugh at themselves, others, and their difficult situations.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudetributes: A Sense of Adventure

I have decided to apply my immense knowledge of guys and dudes in a more nurturing manner by advocating certain attributes of dudes. It should be noted by all would-be dudes that these "dude-tributes" are not requirements for dudedom. Rather, they should be seen as characteristics that dudes often exhibit. When a plethora of dudetributes are found in one individual, there is a high probability he is a dude. (Those still uncertain of what a "dude" should revisit "An Introduction to Dudedom"). Dudetributes should be thought of like childhood collectibles (pogs, baseball cards, whatever) - the more of them you have the better off you are. Likewise, the more dudetributes you possess or develop, the more dudelike you become.

One of the most complex and misunderstood dudetributes is that of a sense of adventure. Dudes are generally curious and enjoy learning new things, and it follows that they will therefore seek activities that are new, different, challenging, and unique. A sense of adventure should not be mistaken for lack of commitment - dudes are always dedicated to their commitments. But they also are not intimidated by new and challenging situations. Adventurousness is also NOT reckless - it is reasoned and calculated. In order to clarify the concept, I have boiled "Dudely sense of adventure" down into three components: risk (or at least uncertainty) challenge, and individuality.

A Dude-like Sense of Adventure

Risk

Men are fascinated by the idea of risk. This explains why many men struggle with gambling. It also can explain why men will take apart a machine in an attempt to fix it, or refuse to ask for directions - the risk of reassembly and getting lost is overly enticing. Although this obsession with risk can be misapplied, it can also have positive uses. Investing a large sum of money to start a small business venture, moving to New York City to start an acting career, and even moving to a new town all involve uncertainty and risk. Without the ability to cope, or even thrive upon risk, Columbus and Magellan never would have made their discoveries, and open heart surgery would never be successful. The key is to harness the male fascination with risk into positive activities.

Challenge

Difficulty is inherent in the idea of adventure. It is not adventurous to walk to the top of a hill because there it is a very small challenge. Climbing a mountain however, is extremely adventurous because of the high degree of difficulty. Men also love to be challenged. Take for example, a group of teenage boys sitting around a fire. It is inevitable that they will begin to dare one another to attempt things like picking up coals and jumping over flaming logs. Dudes realize their need to be challenged and seek outlets that will be difficult for themselves.

Individuality

Being adventurous involves the confidence and personal strength to complete an activity regardless of the opposition. Adventuresome dudes look peer pressure square in the eye, scoff, and continue with their plans. I am not advocating participation in activities simply because no one else is involved, but I am contending that adventure often spits in the face of popular opinion. As Benjamin Franklin should have said, "Being yourself is the greatest adventure of all."

Feel free to respond with true tales of dudely adventure.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Chics: An Oversimplified Guide to Girls

Of the hundreds of emails I receive daily, over 80% concern issues with women. Why is this? Could it be (as most men would argue) because women are the most complex, irrational, emotional, and downright fickle creatures on God's (previously perfect) green earth? Or is it because guys are dull, dense, stubborn, insensitive, and painfully logical? Perhaps a highly combustible combination of these two scenarios results in such extreme relational fireworks. This issue of Dudes Etc. will zone in on the topic of women and offer some simple rules for understanding and relating to them.

Rule 1: Women are More Complex than Men.

Simply stated, women are highly sophisticated creatures. As dudes, it is imperative we realize that the only hope for even partial comprehension is through intense thought and keen observation. Also, it must be noted that women are generally not logical - they are super-logical. This means that they reason on a level above logic. Most women comprehend logic - but they typically value other factors (emotions etc.) above logic in their reasoning thereby seeming illogical.

Rule 2: All Women are Different.

When interacting with women, it is also necessary to be cognizant of the fact that no woman is the same. An appropriate mindset is that of a golfer. No golfer treats every hole the same, but approaches each as a unique challenge. Likewise, dudes know that no two women are the same and each relationship must be approached individually.

A similar principle is that all women change on a daily basis. The girl you kissed goodnight at 11 PM on Saturday night may not be the same girl you greet at 9 AM Sunday morning. In fact, my experience indicates that she will probably be entirely different.

Rule 3: Girls are People not Prizes.

Guys often treat dating as a competition, with the best girls going to the victors. This is a giant mistake - one that a dude would avoid at all costs. Girls are human beings deserving respect and decency just like any man. I am in no way a feminist, but I do think that our society objectifies women by treating as an indication of social status. Unfortunately, I see men treating their wives no differently than their car, mansion, or favorite dress suit. As for you women: do not settle for this treatment - you are worth more than any possession a man could own.

Rule 4: Take a Hint!

Dudes know how to take no for an answer. I am 100% in support of guys who have the confidence to pursue a relationship, but if she is not reciprocating your advance - BACK OFF. Knowing when to raise the sails in pursuit and when to abandon ship is the difference between a dude and a creepy stalker. I also want to that I think the idea of determining "Is she into me?" before asking a girl out is over rated. Unless you have something at stake (i.e. her family has been friends with yours for years) I say just go for it. If she turns you down then oh well, it wasn't going anywhere anyway - move on. If she accepts, you're golden. Why wait for three months to try to figure out if she likes you too?

Rule 5: Kindness is Always Appropriate

Regardless of whether you are married, dating, pursuing, or single it is always acceptable to be amiable to women. Dudes open doors, let girls precede them in line, and offer to help them in any way. Another note for girls: when a dude is nice to you, do not automatically interpret it as affection.

Communication Axioms

Here are a few tried and true rules for communicating with women. Consider this a bonus feature included with today's post for no extra charge.

Axiom 1: Shut up. Letting her talk seems to be strangely therapeutic for her.

Axiom 2: Always avoid the topic of women and weight.

Axiom 3: For some reason, it is okay to imply a girl lacks common sense in jest.

Axiom 4: Listening is different than hearing - she wants you to feel what she is saying too.

Axiom 5: Look at her eyes, not her rest of her.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dude Skills Part IV: Cleaning

Men are often criticized for their cleanliness. On more than one occasion I have heard women generalize their feelings about male habits with the statement, "Guys are gross!" Though valid, I contend that this critique is too nebulous to be of use to the male gender. Therefore, this post will attempt to address the behaviors women most often condemn, and offer insights for how all dudes can avoid these pitfalls, immediately enhancing their dudeliness.

The three specific categories which men could work to improve (and dudes have mastered) are: hygiene, personal space, and clothing.

Dude Hygiene

Admittedly, men are often challenged in the area of personal hygiene, but before women pounce upon the habits of men, there are several things they need to realize. First, by nature, men are more intense than women - especially physically. Exhibit A: compare men's and women's basketball. There is no apologizing in a guys basketball game. If you're lucky, there might be a foul or two called. But in a girls basketball game, if two players incidentally bump shoulders they both instantly apologize. After a basketball game, girls will probably have broken into a sweat, but a guy's shirt (and probably the seat of his shorts) will be soaking wet with sweat. Thus, the physical intensity of men results in more intense sweat, odor, and dirt. That being said, a true dude will make every effort to curb those odors (deodorant, showering etc.) and will not flaunt them by hugging a girl when he is sweaty, thereby bathing her with his sweaty stench.

Hygiene Tips for Dudes:

1. Long hair is difficult to pull off - if it looks like it came off a stray dog, it's time to cut it. Girls are also over critical of long hair on guys because they know how hard it is to clean.

2. Brushing your teeth is not optional - if your mouth has obvious mold spore colonies, your breath will smell like a trash heap.

3. Spraying cologne ≠ showering - Your body needs a regular powerful cleansing with water and soap.

Dude Personal Space

A dude will keep his personal belongings and space organized and clean. This does not mean that his floor will never be strewn with clothes or that his desk cluttered. However, it DOES mean that it will never remain in this state for an extended period of time. As much as I hate to say it, college dorm rooms tend to be the worst offending spaces. Pizza boxes, chop sticks, muddy cleats, hockey sticks, sweaty athletic shorts, old school books, and half-eaten bags of Combos - none of them belong on the floor.

Personal Space Tips for Dudes:

1. People can tell if your room has just been cleaned - so if your having company over, clean and de-odorize well in advance.

2. Get a bin or box for your shoes - this will keep them out of sight and smell.

3. Throw away your unused junk: Your lucky striped baseball sock from the little league championship team isn't cool anymore - pitch it.

Dude Clothing

First, all women should realize that 9 out of 10 guys would rather go purchase more undergarments than wash their dirty ones. So if your man does laundry once every two weeks, he's better than average. Also, let me contend that washing a piece of clothing after one use is unnecessary unless it has been sweat in, or worn in mud. That being said, it is important for men to realize that doing laundry regularly is a must. My brother recently drug his hamper out of the closet, and the room smelled like moist, decomposing boxers for over an hour. This type of behavior is not good for your clothes, or your company. I try to do laundry once a week so that my heap does not become unmanageable

Clothes Tips for Dudes:

1. If you are unsure if an item is clean or dirty, use the smell test. Place your nose into the smelliest area (groin, armpit) and inhale deeply through your nostrils. If you keel over - wash it. If you wince - wash it unless you REALLY need it. If you can smile - fold it and put it away.

2. If you have stained clothing, look it up online - many times they can be removed with everyday products

3. If you are going out on a date - wear freshly washed clothing.

Feel free to respond with questions.

Dude out,

-C.R.