A Return to the Dudely Life

With summer’s sporadic spewing of heat and humidity nearly at an end, thoughts often return to former pursuits and the potential regurgitation thereof. Although the cessation of posting was neither announced (my apologies to regular constituents), nor intentional, the seductive power of writing is such that it cannot be postponed indefinitely. Hence, this post constitutes a valiant re-ignition attempt of the beacon of male enlightenment (and in an untraditional sense, enhancement) known as Dudes Etc.

At a time when many dudes are returning to their respective institutions for yet another extended period of intensified personal growth and development, it seemed appropriate to exhort these individuals to re-commit themselves to a pursuit of dudeliness.

Concerns

Oftentimes the summer is perceived as a time to abandon discipline and rational behavior in favor of a recklessly hedonistic lifestyle. The window of opportunity for challenging this paradigm has unfortunately closed. (Simply put, if you frittered your summer away by a pool gorging on Doritos and Capri Sun, calling you on it now is pointless.) However, the tendency of the summer mentality to bleed into autumn habits is a regrettable reality in dire need of opposition. Thus, in a true Dudes Etc. exhortation style, this post offers practical solutions to re-dude-ing one’s lifestyle.

Solutions

1). Carefully set priorities

Examining the areas of life that require significant amounts of time and effort and ordering them by importance is the first step toward productivity and discipline.

2). Intentionally plan a daily routine

When attempting to “get back in the swing” of a disciplined lifestyle, it is imperative to recognize the importance of a thoughtful daily program. The likelihood of success greatly increases when specific times are designated for particular activities.

3). Commit to the plan.

Although being disciplined in daily life can be difficult, it is also incredibly rewarding. The longer one follows his or her plan, the more momentum they build and the more satisfaction they will find in discipline.

This challenge goes out to all dudes – it is time to shake off the slime of summer slacking and commit to a pursuit of discipline and excellence.

Dude out,

-C.R.

A Dudely Pursuit of Boredom

I have recently noticed a rising trendency (did you see what I just did there?) among myself and my peers to shun certain activities simply because they have been deemed unpleasant or "boring." For many men, it is enjoyable to develop talents like their golf game, fitness, mechanical or carpentry skill, or spend time developing relationships. Young men in particular seem to seek a constant state of thrill and stimulation. It is quite another thing however, to develop their mind and soul. Personally, I much prefer rafting or skiing to reading a book or listening to a lecture. Similarly, I would rather play a game of whiffle ball in my back yard with friends than discuss the theological implications of the sovereignty of God. I have become increasingly critical of myself in this area, and I thought my fellow dudes could benefit from my musings on the subject. In a potentially vain effort to increase readership through decreased post length, I have simmered my remarks down into three dudezortations.

1). Eliminate "boring" as an excuse.

Some of the most beneficial activities in life involve no action, thrill, excitement or competition. Reading non-fiction, listening to a lecture or sermon, or discussing something of value with a friend all develop important areas of our lives. I have sworn to quit using "that's boring" as a reason not to do something. Instead, a better question is "Is this the best use of my time?" I recently went to Washington D.C. with my brother. He needed to visit a museum for one of his classes and he chose the Smithsonian Museum of Native American History. To me, it sounded extremely boring and lame. It combined my two of my least favorite things: museums and history. I was surprised to find the experience both interesting and enjoyable (who knew Indians used tomahawk pipes?).

2). Broaden your Horizons.

As cliche as that sounds, I believe it is important to learn about things that do not interest us. For example, I have very little interest in history - but I am attempting to cultivate an appreciation for it by reading biographies. We need to stop relegating ourselves to tiny cove of our personal interests and explore the ocean of knowledge and experience beyond our preferences.

3). Plan Boring Things

I have discovered that I will not do something I dread unless I put it on my schedule. Thus, I believe it is critical to set aside time to read, visit museums, or attend a lecture. If we don't take the time to plan these activities, the desire for excitement and thrill will take the controls and steer us away from valuable and rewarding pursuits.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes Etc. 2010 Hate List

An editorial from the Editor in Chief of Dudes Etc.

In a culture that values choice and diversity as much as ours, we are often inundated with options. While these options can be beneficial, they can also cause mental paralysis when attempting to make decisions. Thus, I believe listing our likes and dislikes is beneficial because it can make us cognizant of our preferences and help with decision making. Knowing what you hate and love (and why) is one of the first steps to "knowing thyself." I have found that periodically listing my likes and dislikes has given me a better understanding of the motivations behind decisions I make. Thus, this post will steal a page directly out of Oprah's playbook by presenting:

The Dudes Etc. 2010 Hate List

1. Fedoras - Wearing a fedora IS making a "fashion statement" - a statement that screams "I'm desperate for friends." You are not Justin Timberlake or a 1930s journalist, so take that ghastly thing off.

2. Stepping in liquid while wearing socks - There's nothing worse than ruining a fresh cozy pair of socks by stepping on a melted ice cube or spilled milk.

3. Riding in the back seat - The lack of air conditioning, lack of ability to interact with the front seat, and poor visibility all combine to make a lousy travel experience. Its almost as if auto makers took everything we hate about riding in airplanes and recreated the experienced in the back seat.

4. Facebook Applications - Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I don't give a crap between pirates and ninjas, and if I get one more notification that someone found a cow on their farm, I'm going to embark on a digital cattle slaying rampage.

5. The catchphrase "Legit" - This abbreviation is ambiguous and pointless. For instance, when I say that I found twenty dollars on the street and I'm going to keep it, responding with "That's legit" is very confusing.

Other top runners included: Pine sap on clothing, drinking warm water, and sweaty feet.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes Vs. Posers

There are not many things that rub me the wrong way more than posers. (I just now realized how odd the expression "rub the wrong way" is in regard to humans). This post is to decry the antics and tactics of posers and reveal their shallow need for acceptance and attention.

Poser: one who adopts the characteristics of a group (or multiple groups) in order to gain acceptance.

The very idea of "posing" is antithetical to dudedom because Dudes are always true to their own beliefs and opinions. Here are some ways in which posers are anti-dude.

Posers are willing to compromise values - Dudes stick to their guns on issues that matter.

Posers mimick those around them - Dudes think for themselves and do what they want.

Posers often act differently depending on the group - Dudes never try to be someone they are not.

Posers base their actions on what others will think of them - Dudes act on personal values.

Posers copy - Dudes create.

A Quick Glance at Poser Stereotypes

There are several standard flavors of poser, and although not everyone who acts or dresses in one of these ways is a poser, a great deal of posers fall into these categories.

1). The Gangsta Poser - Typically a white kid who tries to pull off "hard" but only successfully pulls of "tool." Two messages for you Gangsta posers out there: first - don't call me "nigga". Second, as much as you try, you will still be white.

2). The Prep Poser - Common in middle and high school, this is more of a garden variety poser who is convinced that brand name clothing increases coolness. Simply put, wearing Abercrombie jeans doesn't make you cool any more than putting frosting on a cow patty makes it a cake.

3). The Rebel Poser - Most of the time, these authority-hatin', bad attitude totin', fight-pickin' individuals have no reason to be ticked off - it has just become their modus operandi. In my opinion, if you've got issues its best to get it out in the open, or forget about it. Pouting around like a 2 year old who didn't get its way is a total chump move.

In other unrelated news, Dudes Etc. is now accepting suggestions for future posts and answering all your questions from a Dudes perspective. Simply submit ideas/questions to dudesetc@gmail.com.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Don'ts

This post will be short and sweet. I have concluded that there are somethings that a dude should never do (or should seek to never do). Without further introduction, here is the list.

1. Don't Act or Speak without thinking. It is important to consider the consequences of actions and words before doing or uttering them. Dudes make the effort to act and speak intentionally.

2. Don't Judge others. People with overly judging and critical tendencies can be exhausting. Dudes worry about themselves and let morons be moronic.

3. Don't Wear makeup. Enough said.

4. Don't Brag. Dudes are always doing something cool - but they never boast about their accomplishments.

5. Don't Quit. Persistence and dedication are valuable dude qualities, and dudes do not quit out of frustration.

Simple - but easier said than duded.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Duds: Guy-delines for Dress

As someone who has grown up with multiple sisters, I have witnessed firsthand the incredible effort and time the opposite gender invests in their appearance. I do not intend to bash girls for their preoccupation with clothing, makeup, and hair - in fact it is quite appreciated. In stark contrast however, men often fall short of even the most basic standards for clothing and style. I pondered attempting to alter this trend with theories of skin tone and seasonal color schemes, but these concepts torture my structured male brain waves into a mangled heap of confusion. It is my opinion that these guides were schemed long ago by vicious feminists in a dark room seeking to concoct something incomprehensible to the male mind and thus assert their superiority (or at least equality). Needless to say, they succeeded.

But do not be discouraged my brethren, for even without the knowledge of olive skin tones and autumn color schemes (emphasis on SCHEME), it is possible to dress stylishly. I have simmered down my extensive knowledge on the subject into a list of guy-delines that are simple enough for even those on the fringes of dudedom.

General Guy-delines for Dudelike Style

1). Know the Code

It is imperative to know the appropriate dress code for the social situation. Several simple rules for those just recently leaving their cave include: Weddings require a suit coat, hats are not to be worn in church or at the dinner table, jeans with holes are not formal. In short, figure out what the proper attire is for the occasion, and wear it.

2). Be Yourself

This guideline is for the guys who try to wear something they saw a celebrity wear. Newsflash: Nobody man looks good in girl pants. Another newsflash: White men should not try to be black - it looks foolish. Okay, I'm done lashing out. But seriously, if you are a stocky guy, you won't be able to pull off skinny jeans - try loose or bootcut. I acknowledge that dudes are a diverse demographic, but it is critical to wear what you feel is "you." I think you get the point.

3). Don't Dress for Attention (but be ready for it).

One of my dude pitfalls is mocking guys who look dumb. Let's be real though, some people make it WAY to easy. In my opinion, people who try to break trends with oddly colored hair, more than 10 piercings, or dressing like a stripper are simply seeking attention. Sometimes it can take more self confidence to dress so that you do NOT stick out. But dudes, always dress in such a way so that if you become the center of attention, you look good.

4). Don't Cross Styles

There are a plethora of "styles" in which to dress. You can dress like an athlete, musician, artist, or simply just a normal dude. Whenever you select clothing to wear, make sure you do not mix styles. For example, do not wear Chuck Taylors with gym shorts, or a scarf with a hooded sweatshirt. It just looks dumb.

5). Get a Second Opinion

If you are unsure if something matches or looks okay, find another dude and ask him. Dudes typically do not care about hurting feelings - they would rather be honest so that their friend doesn't end up looking like a baboon.

Lastly, although not a rule - it CAN be helpful to ask a girl for assistance. Even if you can't understand her reasoning, her conclusions are generally trustworthy.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Bros Part II: The "Oh Hey!" Stage

Last week, Part I focused on the "Hey" stage which described general techniques dudes use to meet other dudes. This week's post centers around how dudes develop that friendship and take it to the next level without creeping each other out.

Classic Mistakes

In order to help non-dudes and minimal dudes become more dudelike in their approach to friendship, I have decided to outline several classic mistakes that repel full blown, pure bred dudes.

Over Excitement

This mistake is the most common among young males aspiring to dudedom and in situations where dudedom is unequal. When one male (Quincy) meets another male with more dudelike qualities (we'll call him Liam), Quincy tends to over pursue the friendship. This can be done through frequent invitations to hang out, excessive Facebook commenting, and a physical pursuit that is almost magnetic. Such behavior on Quincy's part will result in Liam feeling as if he has an unwanted crush, and he will undoubtedly initiate evasive maneuvers.

Poor Timing

When two equally dudelike males meet, the potential for friendship is high. An ill-timed proposition however, can trash a relationship worse than a 'coon in a kitchen. Examples of poor timing include asking a dude if he thinks a girl is attractive in front of his current girlfriend, referencing a private conversation in public, and accusing a dude of flirting while his mother is present.

The "Oh Hey" Stage

This stage is characterized by unintentional and unplanned interaction. Two dudes having previously met, will often gravitate toward one another in social situations. "Oh Hey" relationships exist because dudes prefer to be with other dudes, even if they know very little about them. Examples include two recently acquainted dudes sitting together in a cafeteria, two dudes sharing a cab, two dudes working on a school project, or standing by the punch bowl at a lame dance. Because the dudedom of both males is no longer in question, they can enter the interaction with confident assurance that they are understood.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Bros Part I: The "Hey" Stage.

Long before Bert met Ernie or Robin "side kicked-it" with Batman, dudes have been making friends with other dudes. The intricate formation of these relationships, though always unique and original, can be simplified into several fairly standard stages. This post will address the first of these stages.

The Hey Stage

The first of these levels of is commonly known as the "Hey" stage because of the frequency with which dudes use this greeting. The Hey stage is composed of two parts: 1) the meeting, and 2) the exchange of dudeisms.

The Meeting

Although dudes are exceptional human beings, they meet in similar ways to non-dudes. One of the most common ways for dudes to make one another's acquaintance is through a third party introduction. Another, less traditional way for dudes to meet is through doing dudelike activities. Two dudes may meet while pushing an old woman's car out of a snowbank, or on the ski lift, or while attending a little league baseball game. They see each other and the typical greeting is "Hey," "Hey man" or an upward head nod of acknowledgement. It is from here that the term "Hey Stage" has been derived. Obviously the dudes are mutually courteous and polite, but at this point, the conversation remains outside the realm of dudedom.

The Exchange of Dudeisms

It is certainly possible for the relationship to remain at a merely "hey dude" level with no progression into legitimate friendship. However, when relationships do progress, the aspect of dudeisms becomes critical. At some point after the initial meeting (possibly weeks or even months later) one of the males will test the other male's dudedom. This is performed through dudeisms, or comments and responses of a dudelike nature. This concept is analogous to the code languages used in . dude casually tossing out a dudism and waiting for an appropriate dudelike response. Take for example, two males standing in line at a deli:

Dude 1: "Look at that guy, he's just a master. He's like the Mr. Miyagi of sandwich making."

Dude 2: "Absolutely. But without the 'stache and goatee."

Dude 1: "Haha, yeah...but he could pull that off too, if he wanted"

In this scenario, Dude 1 used a dudeism (in this case, a reference to Karate Kid) to smoke out the other male and test his dudedom. Dude 2 reciprocated appropriately by acknowledging the reference and building upon the reference. Dude 1's response is merely the sprinkles on the sundae.

Note: The friendship may simply stay at the "Hey Stage." The fact remains however, that this stage takes place in the development of friendships between dudes.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Packing Like a Dude

As a frequent traveler, I have noticed a disturbing trend emerging in the way men pack for trips. Rather than packing only what is necessary, they have adopted the feminine technique of packing based on "is there even the slightest chance that this item will be needed?" Then, regardless of the answer, the item is packed. Dudes however, develop the ability to predict which items are truly necessary, and exclude all else in their luggage. In an effort to provide a contextual framework in which to to comprehend this post, I have included a short summary of historic male packing.

(Note: Any She-dude readers should take particular note of the principles outlined in this post).

Historic Highlights of Male Packing

Throughout history, men have been known known for their minimalist packing strategies. Even in prehistoric times, they were known to embark upon hunting excursions wearing nothing more than a spear and a rock. Males who wore their mammoth-skin loincloths were scorned (after all, why would you wear a formal outfit on a hunting trip?). As time passed however, societal standards for dress were established, and men were forced to carry extra clothing when traveling. The commitment to minimalist packing however, remained resolute. Nearly all of the great explorers were known for their ability to pack lightly. On one occasion, Christopher Columbus remarked that "The ability to carry the entirety of ones belongings in a satchel is a mark of exceeding wisdom...and also of poverty." Legend has it that Louis and Clark adhered to a simple motto while packing for their excursion: "If it can't be et, drunk, or shot - it ain't comin'." Sadly however, many modern males have lost this commitment to minimalist packing.

4 Rules for Packing Like a Dude

Rather than lament the feminine packing tendencies of the modern male, I have opted to simply provide four general guidelines to educate and encourage dudes who have difficulty in this area.

1. Two Bag Maximum

Ideally, the amount of clothing and other items can be condensed into one medium to large sized bag or suitcase. Obviously the amount of items taken on a given trip depends upon the length and variety of activities involved. The principle remains however, that any guy should not pack more clothing than can fit into two bags. My personal packing technique is to pack all clothing in one medium bag, and pack all other items (laptop, iPod, book, phone charger, etc.) into a backpack.

2. Two Pair of Maximum

Pants and shoes consume ungodly amounts of valuable space in a suitcase. Thus, minimizing the number of these items is key to effective minimalist packing. Depending on the trip, I try to include one pair of semi-formal pants (either dress pants or dockers), and one pair of casual pants (dark jeans or khakis). Likewise, I wear one pair of nicer shoes, and pack my running shoes. The key is to choose pants and shoes that can serve several functions. Dockers can be worn with either a shirt and tie, or a casual sweater and dark jeans can be worn with a hoody, t-shirt, or dress shirt. The main thing to keep in mind though, is to minimize the number of pants and shoes. Taking with one pair of pants and shoes (and wearing those for travel) is deserving of an official nomination for the Dudes Etc. "Trude of the Year" award.

3. Wear the big stuff

If you must bring a large coat, hoody, boots, or other large items it is always best to wear them. This technique can save an extraordinary amount of room in a suitcase.

4. Pack the little stuff last.

Pack the large things first - pants, sweaters, shoes. Then pack in the socks and undergarments around these larger items. This maximizes suitcase space and is the most effective way for packing luggage.

Following these guidelines and strategies should enable even the most inclusive packer to move closer to our male heritage of minimalist packing. Although it is no longer possible to pack as light as our forefathers, it is important to make the effort to pack only what is truly necessary.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Spare Time: How to Use Every Second Like a Total Dude

Guys are notorious for spending countless evening and weekend hours in front of the television watching sports or playing video games. While these are acceptable activities (even in dudedom), the ghastly quantity of time males waste pursuing them is entirely reprehensible. The intent of this post is not to lambaste men who find themselves caught in the magnetizing effect of TV and video games. Hopefully, these ideas will inspire and encourage men to use every precious second of their lives in the most effective and enjoyable manner. On my journey to ultimate dudedom, I have discovered three areas in which dudes can invest their time in order to receive an unbelievably positive return.

1. Build Relationships

First, dedicate their spare time to developing relationships with the important people in their lives. If men spent as much time listening to their wives as they do watching football, marriages and families all over the nation would be happier and healthier. If sons and brothers invested time in the relationships with their mothers and siblings, these relationships would be deep and strong. There are countless ways to build into the lives of others. Hand-written letters, phone calls, emails, and grabbing a cup of coffee are all excellent ways to use spare time. Other options for building relationships include planning a party or event, inviting someone over for dinner, or simply playing a game. In short, dudes see the inherent value in spending time with the people they love and building relationships.

2. Explore New Horizons

Secondly (and yes, this category was intentionally named in a broad and inclusive manner), dudes realize that one lifetime is not enough time to see, do, or learn everything so wasting time is out of the question. Exploring new horizons involves more than visiting new places, it is a mindset of trying new things. Google a local state park and take a day trip, attempt a hike to a friends house, visit local historic landmarks, learn to kayak, ski, or fix a car. If you are already outdoorsy, challenge yourself to read a good book or learn how to make a casserole. The point is that spare time is the perfect time to branch out.

3. Serve

Thirdly, dudes have a servant hearted attitude that drives them to spend their time serving others. Out of all human beings, young men are the best suited for service: physically fit, plenty of time, energetic, and young. Combine these qualities with a dudelike compassion and willing spirit and the results can be astounding. There are plenty of service opportunities if guys would simply look around. Food pantries and homeless shelters always need assistance. Thousands of elderly people in nursing homes long for friendship and attention. Young children can be organized into teams and played with. It is important to note that opportunities for service are often impromptu. Helping an old woman change a flat tire, giving a homeless man a bag of groceries, or even simply holding a door for a disabled man are ways to use time wisely. In conclusion, I am saddened by how young men (potential dudes) fritter away their time. I know that if ignited and harnessed, these dudes have the power to impact communities and cities for good.

Gentlemen, let's get off our butts and get busy.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudetributes: A Sense of Confidence

Men do not often suffer from low self esteem. In fact, the concept of a "male ego" has been decried to the extent that assaulting it farther would seem banal and redundant. I do not intend to pummel a deceased stallion (if you permit the adaption of a nonsensical phrase - after all, why would anyone beat a living horse?), but I have chosen to elucidate upon a proper dudelike mentality regarding self esteem.

I would prefer to simply expound upon the positive aspects of a dudely sense of confidence, but I need to establish several initial qualifications.

I acknowledge that many men DO indeed have an issue with pride. (I could veraciously assail this glaring imperfection, but I have chosen to inspire and encourage because I believe this approach to be exponentially more effective).

Confidence is not equivalent to arrogance or pride. Arrogance is a distortion (more specifically an improper swelling) of confidence. In short, arrogance is confidence with a hernia.

It is possible to "take pride" in something without being arrogant, just like it is possible to take a break without being lazy - the key is moderation.

A Dudelike Sense of Confidence

With these thoughts in mind, I can proceed to an explanation of the dudetribute of confidence. There are two components of a proper, balanced sense of confidence: confidence in the dude you are, and confidence in the dude you are not.

Confidence in the Dude You Are

First, dudes know (and like) who they are. This means they have an accurate perception of themselves, and they are not afraid to be that person. For example, dudes are confident enough to use their talents and natural abilities. How tragic it would have been if Mozart was too ashamed to share his gift of music? Or if Thomas Edison had lost confidence after his first few attempts at the light bulb? Dudes are not crippled by the possibility of failure or the fear of public shame, but have the self assurance to overcome in pursuit of their goals. After all, a person's worth has no correlation to public opinion.

Confidence in the Dude You Aren't

Concisely stated, dudes have personal standards about who they are about which they are unwilling to compromise. They do not allow others to influence their convictions with faulty arguments about "fitting in" and "everyone is doing it." (Note: this idea extends beyond just doing drugs and having sex). Guys who merely "follow the gang" demonstrate self assurance with properties similar to Silly Putty. At some point, guys like this need to dude up and embrace their individual masculinity. A second aspect of being confident in the dude you aren't involves not being too arrogant to try new things. Dudes are not intimidated by the embarrassment and initial awkwardness of unfamiliar things. They are confident enough to know that their worth is independent of their ability to perform an activity or task.

Practical Confidence Applications (in one sentence or less):

Confidence is the ability to shut your facial abyss while being criticized.

Confidence is the ability to laugh when you get shanked.

Confidence is the ability to shake your opponents hand after a tough loss.

Confidence is the ability to give credit when/where it is due.

Confidence is the ability to ask for assistance (or directions).

Confidence is the ability to look anyone in the eye when shaking hands.

Confidence is the ability to let someone else lead, (but be willing to take the reigns if they screw up).

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudetributes: A Sense of Humor

Although the majority of guys have a desire to "be funny" it is simply not realistic to believe that they can all pull it off. Interestingly enough however, being funny is not a characteristic of being a dude. Dudes do not necessarily know how to tell a funny story, how to sarcastically mock something ridiculous, or even tell a decent joke - that would automatically disqualify a huge sector of the population from dudedom. One of the greatest dudetributes however, is a sense of humor.

Being Funny vs. Having a Sense of Humor

Being funny is completely different than having a sense of humor. The former implies the singlehanded generation of hilarity, or at least the innate ability to make surrounding company laugh. If this were a requirement of dudedom, then unfortunately, there would be very few dudes because, quite simply, most guys are not comedians.

Having a sense of humor, while related to being funny, is more involved. Unlike being funny which is a natural gift or talent, a sense of humor is a lifestyle that can be adopted. It is an approach to life that dudes can nurture, develop, and build into their lives. Specifically, there are three main components of a good dude sense of humor.

A Dudelike Sense of Humor

First and foremost on the list of "factors contributing to a sense of humor" is the ability to laugh at oneself. Dudes should practice the art of laughing when they make a mistake or look foolish. Granted, nobody wants to be perceived as an idiot all the time, but at the same time, EVERYONE makes a fool of themselves at some point (some people more than others). It is at this point when dudes laughingly admit their flaws and even jokingly put themselves down. This is important not only because it decreases the anxiety experienced by the dude himself, but also places everyone else at ease as well. Thus, the ability to laugh at oneself is a basic, yet critical component of this dudetribute.

Secondly, dudes know how to laugh at others. Taken literally, this does not seem challenging. Afterall, laughing AT other people is one of the easiest and most natural human functions. But really knowing HOW to do this is quite a bit more complex. Dudes know that although they may feel like cracking a joke at someone's misfortune, it is not always proper. Thus they know when it is and is not appropriate to laugh at someone else. A second aspect of laughing at others is being humble enough to admit someone else is funny. Guys often experience jealousy when another guy is funnier than them. This is anti-dudelike. Dudes recognize, and even appreciate others that have excellent comedic timing, or use a hilarious analogy. They are not afraid to laugh at other people.

Thirdly, dudes develop the ability to laugh at stressful and intense situations. All men face high pressure situations that are emotionally and mentally taxing. Men who take life too seriously to find humor in difficult areas simply contribute to the difficulty of the situation. Dudes seek to find the irony and humor in such situations, recognizing that this is the most effective approach. For example, recently while I was working at a local restaurant, one employee called off work leaving the restaurant short staffed, eventually resulting in utter chaos. The atmosphere was similar to a pot of potatoes boiling on a stove. The pot was about to boil over, but for some reason, it seemed as though the burner just kept getting hotter and hotter. The result was that human interaction went from a jovial teamwork to a level that was bordering on homicidal. As a participant in the "pot" I could not help but laugh. I found it extremely ironic that the terse (which is a mild description) way in which these stressed people interacted simply served to escalate the situation and exacerbate the problem. In situations like these, it is important to find rays of humor to lighten and brighten the mood.

Some dudes are more adept in certain areas of their sense of humor. But all dudes should seek to develop this approach to life and learn to laugh at themselves, others, and their difficult situations.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudetributes: A Sense of Adventure

I have decided to apply my immense knowledge of guys and dudes in a more nurturing manner by advocating certain attributes of dudes. It should be noted by all would-be dudes that these "dude-tributes" are not requirements for dudedom. Rather, they should be seen as characteristics that dudes often exhibit. When a plethora of dudetributes are found in one individual, there is a high probability he is a dude. (Those still uncertain of what a "dude" should revisit "An Introduction to Dudedom"). Dudetributes should be thought of like childhood collectibles (pogs, baseball cards, whatever) - the more of them you have the better off you are. Likewise, the more dudetributes you possess or develop, the more dudelike you become.

One of the most complex and misunderstood dudetributes is that of a sense of adventure. Dudes are generally curious and enjoy learning new things, and it follows that they will therefore seek activities that are new, different, challenging, and unique. A sense of adventure should not be mistaken for lack of commitment - dudes are always dedicated to their commitments. But they also are not intimidated by new and challenging situations. Adventurousness is also NOT reckless - it is reasoned and calculated. In order to clarify the concept, I have boiled "Dudely sense of adventure" down into three components: risk (or at least uncertainty) challenge, and individuality.

A Dude-like Sense of Adventure

Risk

Men are fascinated by the idea of risk. This explains why many men struggle with gambling. It also can explain why men will take apart a machine in an attempt to fix it, or refuse to ask for directions - the risk of reassembly and getting lost is overly enticing. Although this obsession with risk can be misapplied, it can also have positive uses. Investing a large sum of money to start a small business venture, moving to New York City to start an acting career, and even moving to a new town all involve uncertainty and risk. Without the ability to cope, or even thrive upon risk, Columbus and Magellan never would have made their discoveries, and open heart surgery would never be successful. The key is to harness the male fascination with risk into positive activities.

Challenge

Difficulty is inherent in the idea of adventure. It is not adventurous to walk to the top of a hill because there it is a very small challenge. Climbing a mountain however, is extremely adventurous because of the high degree of difficulty. Men also love to be challenged. Take for example, a group of teenage boys sitting around a fire. It is inevitable that they will begin to dare one another to attempt things like picking up coals and jumping over flaming logs. Dudes realize their need to be challenged and seek outlets that will be difficult for themselves.

Individuality

Being adventurous involves the confidence and personal strength to complete an activity regardless of the opposition. Adventuresome dudes look peer pressure square in the eye, scoff, and continue with their plans. I am not advocating participation in activities simply because no one else is involved, but I am contending that adventure often spits in the face of popular opinion. As Benjamin Franklin should have said, "Being yourself is the greatest adventure of all."

Feel free to respond with true tales of dudely adventure.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dudes & Chics: An Oversimplified Guide to Girls

Of the hundreds of emails I receive daily, over 80% concern issues with women. Why is this? Could it be (as most men would argue) because women are the most complex, irrational, emotional, and downright fickle creatures on God's (previously perfect) green earth? Or is it because guys are dull, dense, stubborn, insensitive, and painfully logical? Perhaps a highly combustible combination of these two scenarios results in such extreme relational fireworks. This issue of Dudes Etc. will zone in on the topic of women and offer some simple rules for understanding and relating to them.

Rule 1: Women are More Complex than Men.

Simply stated, women are highly sophisticated creatures. As dudes, it is imperative we realize that the only hope for even partial comprehension is through intense thought and keen observation. Also, it must be noted that women are generally not logical - they are super-logical. This means that they reason on a level above logic. Most women comprehend logic - but they typically value other factors (emotions etc.) above logic in their reasoning thereby seeming illogical.

Rule 2: All Women are Different.

When interacting with women, it is also necessary to be cognizant of the fact that no woman is the same. An appropriate mindset is that of a golfer. No golfer treats every hole the same, but approaches each as a unique challenge. Likewise, dudes know that no two women are the same and each relationship must be approached individually.

A similar principle is that all women change on a daily basis. The girl you kissed goodnight at 11 PM on Saturday night may not be the same girl you greet at 9 AM Sunday morning. In fact, my experience indicates that she will probably be entirely different.

Rule 3: Girls are People not Prizes.

Guys often treat dating as a competition, with the best girls going to the victors. This is a giant mistake - one that a dude would avoid at all costs. Girls are human beings deserving respect and decency just like any man. I am in no way a feminist, but I do think that our society objectifies women by treating as an indication of social status. Unfortunately, I see men treating their wives no differently than their car, mansion, or favorite dress suit. As for you women: do not settle for this treatment - you are worth more than any possession a man could own.

Rule 4: Take a Hint!

Dudes know how to take no for an answer. I am 100% in support of guys who have the confidence to pursue a relationship, but if she is not reciprocating your advance - BACK OFF. Knowing when to raise the sails in pursuit and when to abandon ship is the difference between a dude and a creepy stalker. I also want to that I think the idea of determining "Is she into me?" before asking a girl out is over rated. Unless you have something at stake (i.e. her family has been friends with yours for years) I say just go for it. If she turns you down then oh well, it wasn't going anywhere anyway - move on. If she accepts, you're golden. Why wait for three months to try to figure out if she likes you too?

Rule 5: Kindness is Always Appropriate

Regardless of whether you are married, dating, pursuing, or single it is always acceptable to be amiable to women. Dudes open doors, let girls precede them in line, and offer to help them in any way. Another note for girls: when a dude is nice to you, do not automatically interpret it as affection.

Communication Axioms

Here are a few tried and true rules for communicating with women. Consider this a bonus feature included with today's post for no extra charge.

Axiom 1: Shut up. Letting her talk seems to be strangely therapeutic for her.

Axiom 2: Always avoid the topic of women and weight.

Axiom 3: For some reason, it is okay to imply a girl lacks common sense in jest.

Axiom 4: Listening is different than hearing - she wants you to feel what she is saying too.

Axiom 5: Look at her eyes, not her rest of her.

Dude out,

-C.R.

Dude Skills Part IV: Cleaning

Men are often criticized for their cleanliness. On more than one occasion I have heard women generalize their feelings about male habits with the statement, "Guys are gross!" Though valid, I contend that this critique is too nebulous to be of use to the male gender. Therefore, this post will attempt to address the behaviors women most often condemn, and offer insights for how all dudes can avoid these pitfalls, immediately enhancing their dudeliness.

The three specific categories which men could work to improve (and dudes have mastered) are: hygiene, personal space, and clothing.

Dude Hygiene

Admittedly, men are often challenged in the area of personal hygiene, but before women pounce upon the habits of men, there are several things they need to realize. First, by nature, men are more intense than women - especially physically. Exhibit A: compare men's and women's basketball. There is no apologizing in a guys basketball game. If you're lucky, there might be a foul or two called. But in a girls basketball game, if two players incidentally bump shoulders they both instantly apologize. After a basketball game, girls will probably have broken into a sweat, but a guy's shirt (and probably the seat of his shorts) will be soaking wet with sweat. Thus, the physical intensity of men results in more intense sweat, odor, and dirt. That being said, a true dude will make every effort to curb those odors (deodorant, showering etc.) and will not flaunt them by hugging a girl when he is sweaty, thereby bathing her with his sweaty stench.

Hygiene Tips for Dudes:

1. Long hair is difficult to pull off - if it looks like it came off a stray dog, it's time to cut it. Girls are also over critical of long hair on guys because they know how hard it is to clean.

2. Brushing your teeth is not optional - if your mouth has obvious mold spore colonies, your breath will smell like a trash heap.

3. Spraying cologne ≠ showering - Your body needs a regular powerful cleansing with water and soap.

Dude Personal Space

A dude will keep his personal belongings and space organized and clean. This does not mean that his floor will never be strewn with clothes or that his desk cluttered. However, it DOES mean that it will never remain in this state for an extended period of time. As much as I hate to say it, college dorm rooms tend to be the worst offending spaces. Pizza boxes, chop sticks, muddy cleats, hockey sticks, sweaty athletic shorts, old school books, and half-eaten bags of Combos - none of them belong on the floor.

Personal Space Tips for Dudes:

1. People can tell if your room has just been cleaned - so if your having company over, clean and de-odorize well in advance.

2. Get a bin or box for your shoes - this will keep them out of sight and smell.

3. Throw away your unused junk: Your lucky striped baseball sock from the little league championship team isn't cool anymore - pitch it.

Dude Clothing

First, all women should realize that 9 out of 10 guys would rather go purchase more undergarments than wash their dirty ones. So if your man does laundry once every two weeks, he's better than average. Also, let me contend that washing a piece of clothing after one use is unnecessary unless it has been sweat in, or worn in mud. That being said, it is important for men to realize that doing laundry regularly is a must. My brother recently drug his hamper out of the closet, and the room smelled like moist, decomposing boxers for over an hour. This type of behavior is not good for your clothes, or your company. I try to do laundry once a week so that my heap does not become unmanageable

Clothes Tips for Dudes:

1. If you are unsure if an item is clean or dirty, use the smell test. Place your nose into the smelliest area (groin, armpit) and inhale deeply through your nostrils. If you keel over - wash it. If you wince - wash it unless you REALLY need it. If you can smile - fold it and put it away.

2. If you have stained clothing, look it up online - many times they can be removed with everyday products

3. If you are going out on a date - wear freshly washed clothing.

Feel free to respond with questions.

Dude out,

-C.R.